“Do you want to be happy or right?”
This is a question that I come back to again and again.
When i find myself in conflict with another, I tend to fall back on this question in helping me assess how to proceed.
But not always.
Sometimes, my anger is righteous, vengeful and deep.
So I don’t give a hoot about being happy.
I just want to prove myself “right.”
Some folks go through life wanting to prove that they are right about everything.
Or, most things.
And that may work well for them.
It certainly gets things done.
But I find it helpful to return to this question time and again during conflict.
I sit back and take a quick, deep breath.
And I ask myself whether I would rather be happy or be right.
Every now and then, we may achieve both – being right and being happy.
But far more often, we have to abandon our intention to prove the other wrong in order to be happy.
Stated differently, do we really want to surrender our happiness over this fight?
Do we wish to cede control over our emotions to another?
Is it really worth it?
For at the end of the day, it is our perspective on the dispute that governs how we feel much more than the outcome.
For today, let us not cede control over our happiness to another.
Let us ask ourselves if this fight is worth it.
And to choose happiness over righteousness any chance that we get.