When I don’t feel like talking, I usually have a lot to say.
The more quiet I get, the more I probably need to yell and scream.
Shutting down emotionally is a way to soldier through.
Anger towards myself over a mistake can take up a lot of emotional energy.
And it’s okay to want to lower the temperature inside my head.
But numbing with food or other distractions is not the way to go.
Turning off my emotions does little good.
Perhaps it is better for me to sit with the frustration, the anger.
To be present in the moment of discomfort without trying to shoo it away.
Somewhere between white hot anger and turning off all emotional switches is where I need to be.
Closer to calm, but not dead to the pain.
Breathe in the frustration, breathe out the possibility of peace.
In. Out. In. Out.
Balance. Level. Serene.