Blog Post # 116 – Hold On Loosely

How do we handle the aftermath?

Many years back, actor Dennis Franz portrayed a recovering alcoholic and NYC police detective named Andy Sipowicz.

SIpowicz had a fiery temper and struggled every day with his alcoholism.

Towards the end of the first season, Detective Sipowicz’s son, also a member of the police force, was shot and killed by some criminals.

The episode actually begins with the death of Andy, Jr.

Sipowicz swings into survival mode and takes care of everything. He notifies Andy, Jr.’s mother – Sipowicz’s estranged ex-wife. Sipowicz makes all of the funeral arrangements and he works with his fellow police to catch the guy that killed his son.

The last scene of the episode was harrowing.

We see Sipowicz sitting on the last stool of the bar. He has a stiff drink sitting in front of him.

The camera pans back and forth from the alcohol to Sipowicz’s pained face.

You can tell how much he wants to blot out his pain with the booze.

Finally, Sipowicz gulps down the drink and asks the bartender for another.

Over the next few episodes, Sipowicz is drunk and makes a complete ass of himself.

Of course, he just buried his son.

This episode strikes a little too close to home.

I often find myself holding things together – through the sheer force of will, but eventually that will breaks and I slide off into my own struggles.

Some people, like me, are great in a fight, a struggle or a challenge. But when the dust settles, that is when the “real” struggle begins.

Oftentimes, it seems that holding things together during conflict is easier than staying true to myself in times of peace.

This is probably because I “get through” by white knuckling it and trying so hard to control things.

When I surrender to the reality of the moment – whether the moment includes crisis or serenity – I am better able to stay centered and grounded.

For today, let us take things as they come. To hold on loosely. To let things go and to stay true to ourselves.