Blog Post # 50 – Oh Captain, My Captain

A cool byproduct of our 50 day adventure with this blog has been the opportunity to connect on a deeper level with some of the folks who read it.

Short notes, Facebook likes, shares and comments go a long way towards keeping me motivated and writing.

But let me tell you the neatest thing that has happened so far since beginning the blog.

One day, a father of one of my son’s friends started a conversation with me about his own struggles with some of the issues that we discuss on the blog. He referenced a recent post and we had what I would call a very serious, heartfelt conversation.

This is a friend. Someone that I have known for many years.

Prior to this particular conversation, our conversations at school functions, ball games and kid events has gone something like this.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Oh, you know, living the dream.”

“How’s work?”

“Busy. You?”

“Oh, yeah, super-busy.”

“Blah. Blah. Blah.”

Sound familiar. How often do we engage in chit chat?

Revealing little, sharing even less and just sort of going through the motions.

But in this discussion with my friend, we talked about important things like (1) change, (2) being stuck, (3) roles we have to play as men, dads and husband, (4) self-sabotage, (5) doubt and (6) fear.

Like, you know, real stuff.

It was like talking to a completely different person. I found that someone that I had known for years had many of the same life concerns that I myself had.

Can I tell you how freeing that was?

(Not to mention how great it felt to know that our little blog had helped spark the discussion).

Here’s the best part. Since that time, my friend and I skip right over that “what’s going on?” two-step of BS, no sharing and no revealing.

We now have a continuing conversation about big picture stuff. About struggle, about hope, about fear. We pick up right where we left off and we challenge each other. We call BS on BS and we don’t mince words.

I always liked my friend. But I didn’t really know him. Didn’t understand his mindset and didn’t know that he thinks about big things too.

So great to have taken off the boring, brain dead mask of civility to replace it with actual connection.

My respectful invitation to you then, dear reader, is this. If you find yourself thinking about the kinds of things that we write about on the blog or if you are struggling with something that you would like to share, I invite you to have a real conversation about it.

Be honest. Be discerning. Reveal a little.

I am more than happy to have a generic, no reveal conversation like I normally do when I run into other parents, acquaintances or friends out in the world. No problem.

But if you would like to engage in a real conversation, I will make it easy for you.

You don’t have to try and break the ice or feel all weird or awkward. All you have to say to me is “Oh Captain, My Captain.”

And we can talk. ‘Bout real stuff.

I will be very happy. And I think you might feel a whole lot better too.