Blog Post # 62 – Free to Change

We change.

One of the amazing things about human beings is just that – our capacity to change.

We change small things about ourselves every day.

The path we take to work, a new exercise adopted, or a new menu item at our new favorite restaurant.

Sometimes, we make really big changes in our lives.

We move, we decide to marry someone, we quit a job.

These changes can, and do, energize us and bring a level of excitement to our lives that has been missing for some time.

If we have been in a rut, a new change can be exhilarating.

But when we break out of that rut and head off into a new direction, those close to us often have a variety of reactions.

Hopefully, the people who love and care about us share our enthusiasm for the change we are undergoing. If it is a healthy and sensible change, this is often the case.

Not everyone is going to support every change that we decide to make.

Some people feel threatened when we move off the lily pond. They may ask themselves – “what’s wrong with life over here? I thought everything was fine.”

They seem to wonder to themselves – “who is she or he to challenge the status quo?”

They may react to our change in strange ways.

Some folks get angry at our decision and flat out tell us. Others tend to be a bit more passive in their aggression – simply limiting contact, acting like everything is fine but in reality they are upset.

This usually does not stay hidden for long. The friendship changes.

When I was working in Colorado, one of the other workers left and everyone started asking themselves – “why am I still here?” I was gone 2 months later.

I once had another job that I thought was great. One of my co-workers quit and I had to do some introspection to see if I really wanted to stay there. I decided to stay, yet I still supported my departing friend.

Here’s the thing – we cannot control the reaction that our friends and family give us when we decide to make a change. They will, or they will not, support us. Out of our control, no doubt.

When we do make a change, the response that we receive from friends and family is usually a whole lot more about where they are in their life path, rather than the merits of our particular decision.

If they feel threatened by our decision, it is often times because of where they themselves are on their journey.

So, for today, let us feel free to make whatever change that we want to make in the world and let go of the results of others.

We can’t control those reactions and they usually aren’t really about us anyway.

You have our permission. We support you – without reservation. Go for it.