“I didn’t like the way you embarrassed me in front of that couple that we just met.”
“You could certainly stand to lose a few pounds.”
“Will you just be quiet? Why do you keep repeating yourself?”
People can really say horrible things to those that they love.
We can also think horrible things about the people we love.
But in those instances where I can think about my thinking or reflect on the things that I said, I realize that the things that I say or the thoughts that I have are usually about me.
If I am not feeling comfortable in my body, I look down on heavyset people.
If I have been slacking off at work, I criticize my kids for not working hard enough in school.
If I haven’t been listening to what you have to say, maybe that makes you anxious and to feel the need to repeat yourself.
The old lesson from grade school that if you are pointing your finger at someone else, you have three other fingers pointing back at you is certainly true.
Today, let’s just keep track of the things that we say about other people. The thoughts that pop into our brain when interacting with another.
And instead of saying something mean or hurtful, reflecting on how what we wanted to say might actually apply to us instead.
To focus on the one person that we truly have the ability to change, to impact – ourselves.
And be gentle while engaging in that focus.
No need to beat ourselves up.
Just reflect, assess and improve. Keep it simple.